Blog

Aug 30, 2023

A bowl of Fritos cereal in bed, $3 value meals and other humiliating entries from this week's food diary

In a week that included the frantic 69(!) hours between the filing of a 144-page Arkansas LEARNS voucher bill and its Senate floor vote — plus an Arkansas Times magazine press deadline — we knew going

In a week that included the frantic 69(!) hours between the filing of a 144-page Arkansas LEARNS voucher bill and its Senate floor vote — plus an Arkansas Times magazine press deadline — we knew going in that it was going to be a brutal five days at the office.

What we didn’t know was that the sad meals we shoveled in to sustain ourselves through the tumult would be so weird and embarrassing.

Although, not every meal was bad. We’ll start with the best meal of the week. I escaped the rainy office on Wednesday around 2 p.m. and started driving west down Markham Street. I had no idea where I was headed. Driving by The Oyster Bar I noticed it was relatively packed, so I turned around headed back to see what all the 2 p.m. lunch fuss was about.

I entered through the back, just like in the old days when it was more of a Stifft Station dive. A back patio appears to be near completion or already complete. The steps and walkway to the back door are are flanked on both sides by a river of shucked oyster shells.

SHUCKED: OYSTER RIVER

I took a seat at the raw bar and ordered the fish tacos with seasoned grilled grouper and a side of manchego cheese grits. Manchego is a cheese from the La Mancha region of Spain and is made from sheep’s milk. I’d had the grits once before and they were mind-blowing, and I wanted to see if the flavor would blow my mind again a year later.

The verdict: those grits are f’ing insane. It’s one of the best combinations of creamy, buttery cheesy goodness I’ve ever had in my life. One of the best Little Rock sides, hands down.

The tacos were also great. Served on soft corn tortillas, the order of three came on a platter that had a sleeve for each one. Each had filet of grouper that fit perfectly in the taco shell and was topped with marinated cucumbers, tomatoes and purple onions, a slice of avocado, chopped parsley and a tangy sauce The Oyster Bar calls TeKax. A fellow diner who was eating gumbo got up to get some hot sauce from the raw bar stopped by to tell me how good they looked, making me feel even more satisfied with the order.

Rhett Brinkley

I returned to the office and heard about Mary Hennigan‘s lunch detailed below and decided not to mention my meal to anyone. RB

***

Mere moments after I found out that Genghis Grill had a $3 lunch deal on Wednesday, my friend was already asking me to go. I wonder if she somehow sensed our food editor Rhett Brinkley was mumbling that the last time he’d been to the spot was in 1999.

The restaurant used whatever authority it has to name Feb. 22 “National Valuebowls Day,” which is a power move I can respect. They marketed the cheap meal to people like me who are on a budget and couldn’t manage to pack another sad turkey sandwich.

It was my first time at Genghis Grill, so I guess the advertisements worked to reach new stomachs. That said, I didn’t know what to expect.

I envisioned a Panda Express or Chipotle type of set-up with the food already displayed for the choosing. I obeyed the “Please wait to be seated” sign and was taken to a booth just shortly before I found out that customers were supposed to call in their valuebowls to go.

The wait staff served my friend and me anyway. We were given full menus, but we obviously went immediately to the six budget bowls — each a bed of steamed white rice with some protein or veg on top. I went with the “All Beefed Up,” while my friend chose the “Lil’ Teri.” (Does saying funny names at restaurants make anyone else feel a little awkward, too?)

My meal was a bit spicier than I had hoped, though the Arkansas Times editorial office jokes that my adult taste buds are still developing. Soon my rice was soaked with spicy juice and I was left picking at chunks of peppered steak that were fine, but sometimes connected with stringy pieces of muscle tissue.

The Lil’ Teri looked alright from my side of the booth, complete with its chicken pieces and pineapple bits. An order mix-up landed us with an extra Beef & Broccoli bowl that my friend took for the road. If you’re keeping track, that’s three meals for under $10. However, I noticed that neither one of us finished our shallow vessels of food.

As promised, the bowl rang up to its pocket-change price. Some angel number action happened after tax, and my card was charged $3.33 — the connections to my optimism, creativity and intuition must have been radiating.

However, the surly responses on yesterday’s open line to a picture of my All Beefed Up bowl exuded zero optimism. So harsh!

I’m not sure I’d pay the usual price of $7.99, but you might find me back at Genghis Grill next year, ready to celebrate National Valuebowls Day. MH

***

Iriana’s makes some pretty good pizza, but given its proximity to the Arkansas Times office, it’s hard to get excited about something that our staff eats so frequently. That said, the busyness of press day on Thursday left us no choice but to order a large Clean the Floor pie for everyone to split.

Maybe we timed things right and got it particularly fresh. Maybe we were just desperately in need of sustenance. Maybe the staff at Iriana’s could hear us moaning and groaning about our editorial woes and threw in some special ingredients or extra love. Regardless, the resulting supreme pizza was something to write home about, a confluence of toppings that became more than the sum of its parts, at least for us cranky editors. DG

***

Editor’s note: Griffin Coop wins saddest meal of the week honors. Don’t judge, we’ve all kind of been there. He sent this piece in and titled it “A new low.”

Monday was a hard day. I don’t even remember the cascade of events that led to me sitting in bed, eating a bowl of sour cream and Fritos with a spoon like it was cereal. I remember being stressed out and too tired to care.

In my defense, I had planned a slightly better dinner that included a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and a side of homemade dip with sour cream of chipotle seasoning that I intended to eat with some Fritos.

The problem was Fritos are small and they’re just not easy to dip. That’s probably why they invented Fritos Scoops. I tried scooping the little Fritos into the sour cream but it wasn’t working. Eventually, I just dumped the Fritos into the bowl and ate it with a spoon. It felt undignified but I was too tired to care.

Like I said, Monday was a hard day.

If you’ve made a similar sad meal and want to share, let us know at [email protected]

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